Sex is a major part of a relationship for many couples. Establishing sexual compatibility is very crucial for a stable relationship and In a case where that isn’t available, couples tend to quit.
However, it is also possible to have a committed relationship with someone you consider yourself to be In love with and not even want to have sex with them. In reality, it’s not only possible but more common or normal than you know.
The fact is that attraction can be temporary; it can come and go at any time, especially if you have been in a long-term relationship. Your partner may not be attracted to you physically anymore, however, that’s a phase nobody wants to experience.
There are several explanations why sexual attraction unexpectedly goes down, and I will let you In on 7 of the major reasons in this post. I will also tell you what you can do to make your man so eager to be in bed with you again. So let’s dig in!
1. He may be overthinking it
This is one of the most common reasons, in the bedroom he may be so eager to perform well and impress you that his level of anxiety actually obstructs his performance.
Sounds funny right? The thing he doesn’t know is that the more nervous he gets, the worse he does.
He probably isn’t only nervous about maintaining a good erection, he may also be worried about finishing too early, or about what you think about his body, that’s right, men are also insecure about their looks
Whatever his worry is, his chance at doing a good job is affected by anxiety and disrupts his sex drive. It only takes one bad experience in bed to make him obsessed with wanting to do better, you know, men and their ego.
After that one bad experience, he might stop having sex with you just to prevent the same humiliation from happening again, probably until he’s sure he can get it right.
If he feels like he’s going to mess it up again, he won’t bother a second time. The best way for him to address his problem in bed is to have sex with you more often rather than shy away from it, you can encourage him to do that.
2. Health Problems
Most men have an adequate supply of testosterone for most of their lives, this is the hormone that makes them crave sex. As time goes by, the experience of a man in his sexual relations may become different from that of the past, it may be time to seek professional help.
Sometimes there are extreme health conditions that trigger low testosterone, but mostly for unknown reasons, a man’s testosterone level may fall drastically, contributing to reduced desire and often weaker erections. Men find it hard to talk about things like this for various reasons, maybe even fear of losing you and he may keep you in the dark about it leaving you confused and thinking it’s your fault.
3. He is not ready for sex with you
This affects only people who haven’t had sex with their boyfriend yet. Your boyfriend may not have been with a lot of women and he may believe that sex is a significant step in a relationship. Maybe he hasn’t comfortable around you enough to have sex with you.
The truth is that sex is an act of intimacy and most people don’t want to do it with the wrong person so they hold off till the right person comes along. This could be your man’s point of view when it comes to sex. It is also possible that he is a gentleman, and he wants to treat you with respect or he is just saving himself for marriage.
You must know his cultural and religious beliefs and values if you think that this is the case. Talk to him and find out his reasons so you both can work out ways around it.
According to research, 94% of the population masturbate about three times a week. But your man may not be interested in sex at all if he masturbates almost every day, even before you attempt to seduce him.
Biologically, masturbation is just like having sex so he would have gotten rid of any sexual urge and won’t feel sexually attracted to you before you even get the chance to get him in bed with you.
It’s hard for a guy to have an erection or a sexual craving for a while after masturbating; he’s good at least for a few hours. This will be a regular occurrence if your man loves watching porn, he will become prone to constant masturbation and it may influence his perceptions of what sex entails. This is common because porn is really easy to access, and it comes in variety.
5. He is bored
Generally, women react best to a slow sexual appeal, the truth is that when they get aroused, men sometimes just want to have sex fast. Their body is bursting with testosterone; it’s just how they’re wired, and it can be discouraging when their woman can’t understand what it feels like to shoot right away.
Sometimes men desperately want sex because they’re physiologically conditioned to want sex, but he wants to have sex with you, his partner, to express both desire and affection. Men also need you to return their lust; they want you to want it when they want it. So if you always give them an attitude when they want sex or always want them to take a slower approach, they will get bored and your man who was once very sexually attracted to you will withdraw from the act with you.
6. He is cheating
Okay, I’m just going to rip the band-aid off here. If he suddenly doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore, there’s a chance he’s getting his sexual satisfaction somewhere else.
You begin to notice that he avoids taking calls when you’re there or he becomes extra careful with his phone. This happens in a lot relationships but I hope your case is different.
Don’t start distrusting him, have a one on one discussion with him, and be sure before you come to that conclusion.
7. There is just no attraction anymore
A man can lose his desire for his partner and won’t want a sexual relationship with her, it happens. But it is important to remember that attraction is can be temporary as I stated earlier especially in a long-term relationship—a blend of visual and sexual stimulation is needed, as well as companionship, this is how you can enjoy a long-lasting relationship.
When a man loses interest in you, it can be detected quite easily: he would get irritated at little things, become distant and cold, argue with you at any given chance and never want to have a proper or serious conversation with you. You have to find a balance in everything and keep things fun and spicy if you want to keep a healthy, long-term relationship and make sure he stays sexually attracted to you.
Finally, start by finding out why your man lost his sexual desire for you, no don’t assume; talk to him about it. Be careful not to accuse him or imply anything, listen to him, and try to understand his point of view.
Don’t be shy to ask him what he wants sexually and if there are things he would like to change. Men are moved by what they see so work on your physical appearance; don’t just look boring or plain all the time. Make sex time fun time, don’t fall into the trap of making sex a duty or an obligation especially if you’re married or in a long-term relationship.
You can suggest seeing a sex therapist that will give you professional advice and help and tell you what to do to spice up your sex life. Make having sex with you totally worth his while and keep him coming back for more.