Everyone also agrees that nothing hurts as bad as the betrayal felt after learning that a partner is cheating. It could be one of the most painful things a person can live through. It will make you feel stunned and rattled at a radical level. Surprisingly, even those who have cheated multiple times feel the same way.
It’s not nice to find out that your partner has been deceiving you. In reality, it is likely to be fatal to realize that the bedrock on which you built your life, your happiness has absolutely shaken. You may even hate yourself because of the way you had to creep around to discover the truth. It is a challenging process and can make you feel enraged all around.
In times like this, it can become very hard to make a decision and you will be vulnerable to making rash choices. But relax, you need all the help you can get right now; here are 7 credible steps you can take after you’ve caught your partner cheating.
1. Maintain Composure
Keep your cool and get in touch with a trusted friend or loved one, do not react in a haste. Depending on the conditions surrounding your relationship, you will need to respond in a way that has been well thought out. You could call your best friend first then both of you need to think about the next step to take.
If you have kids, it is advisable to seek professional help fast, this will help you build a support system that will assist you in dealing with any form of conflict and to make demands for your needs. A lot of people act out of impulse and rage and that often causes more problems in the future. Don’t go about posting things on social media or telling everyone — it could bounce back at you when you least expect it.
2. Deal With Your Feelings
At this moment you’re starting to feel miserable and lonely because you have received positive and solid proof of your partner cheating on you. Now the pain sets in big time, followed by confusion and intense rage. What do you do with all these emotions bursting within you all at once? Like I keep mentioning, keep them in check; don’t do anything just yet. Take deep breaths and control your feelings, if you act out they will only become stronger and you will cause a chaotic scene. In time, you will realize that there is a person who will cherish you and even though this is a traumatic experience, it won’t stop you from experiencing true and genuine love.
3. Be Firm
Don’t begin to beat about the bush or try to trick him or her into confessing, instead be straightforward and show them the proof you have of them cheating. You don’t want to mess around with them, be firm, and just come out with it; tell them what you found out.
“You must also state your stand on the matter and let them know that you need answers to your questions. If you want to keep going with the relationship, it’s better you don’t tell anyone about it yet. When you first find out that you’ve been cheated on, you may be tempted to tell other people about it. Resist this urge because it will leave a deep scar on your relationship. Be straight with your partner and be careful with the people you choose to talk to about it.
4. Be Aware That This Wasn’t Your Mistake
It will mentally scare you for a while and mess with your potential relationships, don’t you ever start thinking you had anything to do with this, it is all on your cheating partner, he or she made the decision to cheat. If they had felt things weren’t going well in the relationship they should have talked to you and let you know.
But they didn’t do anything so it’s up to you to do whatever you feel is best. If their heart and soul were committed to the relationship then they wouldn’t have cheated. It’s totally up to you to keep going or to break up. If you want, you could do some more findings to determine why they cheated and if it will be a constant thing. At this point, you have the power so don’t blame yourself.
5. Decide Whether To Stay Or Leave
If you agree that the partnership is something you desire and that it’s something that you should continue with, you’ll need a specialist. You ought to ask yourself this very important question; is it worth it to remain in this relationship or will your partner keep hurting you?
If you decide to save the relationship, it’s advisable that you and your partner work with a therapist to help you both survive these times and to help determine if it can be saved. This will give you and your partner a fighting chance and help you put things back in order.
6. Be Sure of What You Want And Stand By It
If you cannot bargain with cheating, then it’s time to end the relationship. If you know you can’t survive with a cheater, there is no need for excuses or any other form of justification, just call it quits. They violated you and your trust for them; don’t feel bad for not wanting to stick around.
Be honest with yourself about what you can accept and what you can’t, there are some necessary questions you need to ask yourself, and don’t hurt yourself further by wanting every single detail. You have to deal with the fact that there has been a heavy turn around in your relationship, and if both of you wish to, you two can start all over again.
7. Allow Yourself To Heal
It might seem simple, but make sure that your partner has cut off relations entirely with the other person before you begin attempting to move on. Because you can only begin healing once the affair has been terminated.
If your partner keeps having an affair, it will become impossible to ever trust them again. If they’re still running around with other people then they are not interested in that relationship and it’s time for you to move on. When the whole issue of an affair is dissolved, you will start moving on gradually if you want to with your partner. The two of you need to have an honest conversation about what happened, why it happened, and what will happen next. If you decide to heal without your partner then go for therapy and build a trustworthy support system to help you heal.
In conclusion, Your partner may try to manipulate you by begging and making all sorts of promises, but don’t fall for that, take some time to figure out what it is you want, it won’t be wrong for you to be a little selfish in this case.
They already made their choice so now you get to make yours. Choose what you want to do from there, how you choose to do it, and if you want to do it with your partner. Don’t panic or get disorganized; think about what you need carefully.